Accept it, change it, or leave it.

There are really only three ways that people can manage a challenging situation –  accept it, attempt to change it, or leave.

Many situations in life are intractable and tolerable and the happy person learns to accept what she can not change.  Other situations are dysfunctional and an empowered actor has some opportunity to influence what she believes is not working and gains a sense of accomplishment that builds resilience in the face of distress.  Other situations are so dysfunctional as to be toxic and the only healthy option is to leave them.   Staying in a toxic situation damages the body and the soul.

This is the wisdom from the serenity prayer that has been adopted by the 12-Step tradition but is really a time-honored recipe for psychological health.  The key in life is to recognize the difference between these three challenges and to act accordingly.  Recognizing one’s capacity to influence is a huge challenge for everyone and takes a clear mind that is unencumbered by psychological tyranny.  So, find some freedom to discern where you are in life and decide to do what you need to do.


2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by beer goddess on June 3, 2010 at 2:57 pm

    great advice! decisions, decisions . . .


  2. Someone told this to me along time ago but i forgot it! Thank you!


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